To Reclaim a Soul
by Dark Goddess Hekate
Summary: The Darkness sustains me without 'it.' Without 'it' I can't care. Without 'it' I am a puppet. A story about why Squall acts like he has no emotions, and what he'd have to do to get them. Maybe rewritten depending on reviews. SxS
1. Chapter 1

I know okay? I _know_. I know I shouldn't be writing yet _another_ story…BLAME SAMIE! I got this story idea from a few diff. Places and while I was on the phone with Samie we started talking about her Pilot Can. Story that will never be posted cuz she keeps revising it, and I ran this story idea by her & she told me to write it. And then I was going to write more of merman but this idea was still stuck in my head, so I'm gonna write it anyway! DEAL WITH IT!

Disclaimer: I only own a pen, and if you tale my pen not even your god will help you for fear of my wrath! BRING IT BITCHES!

Warning: OoC-ness (as always), Future Yaoi, who knows what else is in here…I sure don't…

He came back seven months ago. I let him in Garden without a fuss. Why should I care? I don't.

Squall sensed Rinoa 'sneak' out once again. She always snuck out when she thought he was asleep, every night, for the past six months.

Squall sighed.

If she was going to have to sneak out, why'd she insist they move in together? Eight months had gone since the 2nd Sorceress War. After its end, Rinoa insisted we move in together. Then she proclaimed I was her knight.

I don't remember taking that pledge.

Whatever. It doesn't matter. Maybe it would if I had **it** back. Maybe…

But I don't have **it**. It seems as though I won't be getting **it** back anytime soon. If ever.

Suddenly, I had a craving for a Full Throttle. Upon checking the fridge, I discovered I was out. The vending machine in the caf. had them, all I had to do was get dressed and go get one.

After acquiring my energy drink, I decided to enjoy it in the 'Secret Area' located in the Training Center.

And there I was greeted with the sight of Rinoa sitting on top of Seifer, who was lying on his back. They were making out in full view from the doorway to the Secret Area.

If I had been able to feel anything about this, I think I would be disappointed in Seifer; I had always thought he would be smart enough to at least move out of sight of the doorway. But I can't feel, so I don't know.

I cleared my throat to make them aware of my presence. Rinoa jumped off of Seifer and stared at me while Seifer looked at me, and then glared at her. Maybe she had lied to him. Maybe she had told him she and I were no longer together, even though I never asked her to go out with me she told everyone we were. I know Seifer. Seifer wouldn't have kissed her if she were still 'with' me. That, and he looked pissed at her.

"Well!" Rinoa had a stuck-up look on her face and she 'humph'-ed, "You do realize this is all your fault, don't you?" I just looked at her. Maybe if I had **it**, maybe, just maybe, I'd care about what she was saying. But I don't, and I don't care. I _can't_ care.

"Maybe if you had shown all of us some _emotion_ I wouldn't have to find it elsewhere!"

"Shut _up_ Rinoa!" Now Seifer was standing and looking really pissed off. "How _dare_ you act like this was Squall's fault! All of this is _your_ fault, and if you EVER try to blame him for something like this again I'll tear you apart!" Rinoa looked wide-eyed and scared. Seifer really was pissed.

Rinoa ran off.

I walked past Seifer and stood by the railing, looking up at the stars. Seifer was suddenly at my side. Fidgeting.

"Squall…I don't know what to say."

"About what?" He looked at me in shock. This was not the Seifer I knew. The Seifer I knew wouldn't fidget or look down in shame. This Seifer was different. But maybe this is what he's been like ever since the war. I haven't been around him long enough to know.

"She jumped me and started kissing me…I…I reacted to it. I'm sorry! I didn't mean-."

"I don't care." I held out my Full Throttle can. "You want some?"

"What's it taste like?"

"Gobstoppers." He took a small sip and smiled. "You can have the rest. Goodnight Seifer." As I walked off I barely heard his 'goodnight'. Different Seifer indeed.

Just so you ppl know, I only know one or two main parts of this, I have NO IDEA where all it'll take me. lol. But SAMIE says it sounds good and wants me to write it. & Honey, what Samie wants, Samie gets! From me….sometimes…lol. We decided that in the begging of each game, you should be able to pick with ppl would end up together…long live SS! Band with us brethren and sistren! Come band & help us take out that which is a thorn in our asses! coughRinoacough. Lol. I've had too much sugar.

PLEASE REVIEW! Ya know ya want to…doooo ittttttt…..DDDDOOOOOOO IIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT…..


	2. Break Down

Hey! I'm glad some ppl like this story! Here are some reviews!

JadeAlmasy: I hope you like this! .

Cheley: Anger the gods that are Squall and Seifer cuz they don't get it on? Trust me hun, they're bonkin'. Lol. & I'm continue-in it!

Hkokuryuha: Glad you like it! I hate Rinoa too! So does Samie & she's never even played the damn game! (SAMIE: it's cuz you're a bad influence! ME: ME? A bad influence? innocent blinks NEVER! Hey kids! Fire is fun! Lol.)

Angels-Obsession: We're w/you but do you like it?

SAMIE: throws pen comp. Only to have it bounce back & hit her in her face… is stunned…falls off chair lol. Do you really like it? It'll get better! Promise!

WARNINGS: Yaoi, cussing, …other…crap.

DISCLAIMER: Do any of you THINK I own it? No. cuz if I DID, a good bit of the game would involve Squall & Seifer screwin' each other.

Seifer ran down hall after hall. He had just been in the Headmaster's, or rather Squall's, office. Only Squall hadn't been there. Quistis and Rinoa had been. Rinoa had been called there because Squall hadn't shown up that morning. Rinoa blamed Seifer, so he had been called in for questioning. Rinoa kept saying that Squall must have been upset because he walked in while Seifer had been trying to seduce her. Ha! The bitch wishes.

So he was running, after setting the story straight and leaving Rinoa to Quistis' wrath. He had to find Squall. Something was going on and he was going to find out what.

He reached Squalls door and banged on it.

"Open up, Squall!"

Nothing. The door didn't open and there was no noise going on inside.

Seifer used the master code he had gotten back when he was the head of the DC to open the door and enter Squall's room.

No one was in there. He checked every room in the small apartment-like dorm. All he found was Squall's gunblade and some of his clothes were gone. Meaning Squall himself was gone from Garden without a trace. Great.

He felt like crying. The only reason he came back was to be near Squall. It nearly killed him when he found out that _Rinoa_, of all people, was going out with him. It shouldn't be any secret that Seifer was in love with Squall, after all _he_ was the only one who refused to give up after years of Squall trying to ignore him. _He_ was the only one who mastered the art of getting Squall to react, which was to piss him off of course but it DID make him react.

He lied on Squall's bed, curled into a ball, and started crying his eyes out. It was all so hopeless. He was a failure. He didn't want to _change_ Squall like all his so-called friends did, he loved Squall the way he was. He always had. He had wanted to _help_ Squall. Squall needed someone to be a constant in his life, someone he could _trust_. If anything, Seifer wanted to protect Squall.

Deep in Squall's soul-less eyes, past the darkness the sometimes seems overwhelming, Seifer had always seen this lost-hopeless-ness. Squall needed _someone_, or else that darkness was going to consume him.

Seifer had always, since their first meeting, wanted to be that someone.

And now Squall was gone without a trace.

First that sorceress bitch twists his Romantic Dream, which was helpingand being with Squall, to make him become her lapdog. Then Rinoa was dating Squall. Squall let him back into Garden without a fuss, giving Seifer a little hope that just _maybe_ Squall cared about him as well, and NOW! Now Squall was gone.

Maybe Squall despised him now. After all, he was completely different because of his time as a lapdog. Because of Rinoa's own mind-trick, yes she used sorceress mind-control to get him to kiss her, all his memories of that time Ulticmecia came crashing back into his mind.

Thanks Bitch.

But he didn't think Squall hated him. It didn't seem like it the way Squall gave him that drink. It seemed just like Squall just didn't care. Those soul-less eyes were becoming more and more dead as well as Squall himself. That Darkness is slowly eating Squall alive and Seifer was the only one who could see that. Everyone else was to blind to see that the shadow of a soul in Squall's eyes was getting further and further away, the Darkness overpowering it, maybe?

Seifer didn't know. But those eyes had been unnerving him as of late. He wanted to help Squall, but couldn't figure out what was wrong with Squall, not exactly. He couldn't figure out _how _to help Squall. He didn't get the chance with Rinoa and Squall's _friends_ keeping him from getting anywhere NEAR Squall.

Seifer sighed and curled into a tighter ball.

He stayed that way for the rest of that day and night. Rinoa didn't even show,staying with another she'd been cheating on Squall with he'd bet. There was only one question in Seifer's mind:

Now that Squall was gone, what was Seifer going to do next? He couldn't make a living or live anywhere because no one wanted the Sorceress' Knight in their town.

Squall, where did you go, and why did you leave me alone?

Ok, well that was total crap. It will get better (or it SHOULD). Please review and tell me what you think! (Lord knows I need to feel like SOMEONE really likes it. I'm REALLY unsure about this fic…)

Also, Seifer is pathetic for a REASON! Deal with it.


	3. Hot Dogs

Cheley: It seems you're the only one who'll review. pouts. NEWAYS! Yeah, darkness thing _sounds_ good but I have NO idea where I'm going. ; lol. Don't worry too much about Squall being poof gone. We'll see what all that's about soon. & yes, I'm continuing cuz YOU reviewed! hugs Thank you.

AN: I'm all sad cuz Samie isn't home & her cell's turned off. cries lol. She's prolly somewhere w/her parents or w/Ally. ;; & they didn't invite me! jk. Maybe she went to church today….doubt it.

WARNING: Weirdness, OoC-ness, Yaoi, randomness, possible confusion…

DISCLAIMER: is in war Damn you Hyne! Give 'em to me!

Hyne: NEVER! fights back

Me: Damn you!

…yeah, so I haven't won them from Hyne in our war…_yet_.

/This is a note from me/

(this is Seifer's comments on something)

(Unknown…I wish. It's not that hard to figure out…) ('it' it a thing that you'll find out about later)

'It's' here. I can feel 'it.' 'It's' at my starting point. Whoever has 'it' led me around like a dog on a leash. But.

Why bring 'it' here again?

(Seifer)

3 years.

That's how long…

How long 'he's' been gone.

Gone without a trace.

When he first left I wanted to chase after him. To find and catch him. Selphie and Irvine prevented me from leaving though.

They became my friends after he left. Fujin and Rajin both gone, living their own lives, I had come back to Garden alone. Came back.

To him.

But he never noticed.

But they, Selphie and Irvine, did. And they helped me pass the SeeD exam. Now they team up with me in plotting against The Angels.

Zell, Quistis, and Rinoa made up the Angels. Zell and Quistis because their blonde hair and blue eyes. Rinoa because of those crap-assed angel wings on that jacket-thing she wears. Other students dubbed them The Angels.

Just like they dubbed us The Devils.

Me, Selphie and Irvine. We're _always_ planning and plotting _something_.

I had been wrong about Quistis. She had believed _Rinoa's_ story about why Squall was gone. But one point I'd like to make.

Why the Hell would I want _Rinoa_ of all people? I mean _EW_!

She's:

annoying

bitchy

brain dead

fashion retarded and

she expects you to bow down and do whatever she commands of you.

I've already been through that thanks, and I'm not _about_ to do it again. She can kiss my gay ass.

Okay, so I'm not _really_ gay. The only guy that's _EVER _caught my eye is Squall. I still sleep with one-night-only girls.

Just not as much as I used to. And I haven't done it for a while.

Because I'm still in love with Squall.

Don't get me wrong.

I've slept with a _few _guys.

But either

A: I was drunk

Or

B: experimentation

Squall's the _ONLY_ guy I've EVER been attracted to. And I'll admit it to anyone or everyone.

So anyway, me and the rest of The Devils had just performed another one of our wonderful plots all the SeeDs and students think are so amusing (which really comes in handy when we need someone to stall for us.).

Here's the plan: We had gotten one of Quistis' students (who HATES her) to stall her in the classroom. The Angels NEVER get out of their group and is now waiting for Quistis outside her classroom, while we are in the Caf. The student's reward? Two hot dogs, free of charge. And the fact that she's helping screw over a teacher she hates.

So Selphie, Irvine and I sit at our regular table…with _all_ the hot dogs (the lunch ladies hate The Angels too.). Students, getting what's going on, come and buy their lunch dogs from us until we only have eight left. Angela comes in and we give her her dogs, by that time we only have three left, a second one for each of us.

And then we here the ear shattering "_NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_"

We look to see Zell on his knees, arms out beside him, face turned upwards, still screeching.

"What a drama queen."

"I agree with ya there Darlin'."

"What'd you expect from the Chicken?"

Quistis and Rinoa turn and glare Death at us and Zell gets up and starts stomping over. What do we do?

We smile.

We smile and all take a bite of the last three hot dogs at the same time.

You should have _seen_ chicken-boys face. It was _priceless_.

And Selphie got a picture of it. I know that's going on her website.

But then I see something walk in and pause at the doors. Something black.

I turn to see what it was only to have my whole world freeze.

He's there. Standing just inside the doors. His silver-black-brown /ya know he has diff. shades in his hair/ hair flowing over his shoulders and reaching down a little bit past his hips. No longer spiky, it looked like silk. Half his face was covered by his hair. He wore tight black leather pants that had rips up and down his legs, some almost indecent in their placing, but then again, I doubt _he_ was the one who put them there. They looked like battle-cuts.

He had an extremely tight black muscle shirt that had cap sleeves. /ya know, the sleeves that are between t'shirt sleeves and tank-top sleeves/ On his hands he wore fingerless black gloves that reached all the way past his elbows, and he had dark silver arm bands in the middle of the visible skin at the top of his arm.

He wore black leather lace up boots that reached his knees and had his pants tucked inside them. He wore one black belt that held up his pants (even though with them being so tight I had my doubts that they would even _think_ about falling down.) and holstered his weapon, that, from the way he was standing and at the angle he was standing in, his hair and body hid from my view.

He wore two extra belts that were black and criss-crossed. One belt had silver X's and the other had what looked like my sword-cross only they were small and silver. It looked like he had a large cuff made of dark silver and had a large black stone on his right ear, while his left ear was pierced and had a dangling earring that was a silver sword-cross with a black X behind it, both made out of metal.

And around his neck hung Griever, as always.

"Squall."

WOOHOO! Cliffy! …sort of… Does Squall NOT sound hot to you guys…I know my mental pic of this is SMOKIN! Lol. Okay, so. I KNOW I can count on Samie, Angels-Obsession and Cheley to review (because they're dependable\e, nice, considerate ppl…unlike the rest of you…) but I ask that the rest (and even you 3) PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Shoot her!

"OMFG! It's an update!11!" Read it, review for it, love it. Plus, when you review don't forget to express your undying lust for Chelsea. She likes that. (I know) -Samie

Warnings: Yaoi and violent intentions (as always)

Disclaimer: Let's put it this way, if I owned it, Rinoa would actually be named "That ho," and Squall and Seifer would have a love fest.

No one else noticed him. I was the only one who saw him.

He looked around the room before backing out through the doors.

Like hell I was going to let him get away from me again. Like hell I was going to let him disappear again.

I shot up from my seat and tore after him. After some surprising yells, Selphie and Irvine ran after me, followed by the Angels.

I raced down hallway after hallway, but I was unable to catch even a _glimpse_ of him.

/Where? Where could he have gone/ I reached the lobby, turned and raced toward the front gates. /Maybe he went outside./

Once I cleared the turn-stalls (Ya know those lil door things that that old guy watches over?) I found Squall in the area with those waterfall things that don't really have a purpose. He was just standing there, looking up at Garden as if searching for something.

"Squall!" He turned his head toward me, right before I engulfed his small frame in a hug.

Too small.

I pulled back and held Squall at arms length; he merely stared up at me as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It seemed as if Squall hadn't eaten in those three years he had been missing.

Well, okay. He'd be dead if that were true, but he was definitely a noticeable amount smaller than he had been.

But his eyes.

His eyes are completely _dead_. His eyes reminded me of when anime characters would pass out and their eyes would turn really dark and their pupils would disappear. That's what they looked like. An extremely dark, almost black, mix of blue and silver.

"Squallie!" I was shoved rather roughly aside by Rinoa as she glomped him. He just looked down at her.

"So you've finally come to your senses and returned to me. It took you long enough!" Squall didn't even _blink_. "Don't worry about making it up to me. I forgive you for running off, Squallie!"

I think I'm gonna be sick.

By this time all the Angels and Devils caught up with us. Quistis and Zell looked smug. Selphie looked like she was about to bring Nunchaku upside Rinoa's head while Irvine looked torn between shooting Rinoa or holding Selphie back from killing her.

I'm still trying to figure out how Rinoa passed Selphie and Irvine so fast.

"Over these last three years, I have often wondered why, after 18 years, you would suddenly search for me. Or should I say, search for what I stole from you?" An unknown voice said.

What a crap-assed ending for a chapter. (Samie: I agree… Kidding, kidding! is pummeled by random office supplies) Sorry about that. Yeah so, I can't get on the computer without one of my parents standing over me (apparently, I haven't tested it.) which means I can't type and post anything. HOWEVER! Samie said she'd type up and update my stories. So review to me about my stories and thank Samie (cuz she's also checking my mail for me.) THANK YOU SAMIE!

To Angels: I know what 'it' is thank you! Lol. ; And I don't know if this'll be an MPreg or not… depends on where it takes me. (But I don't _think_ it will turn into one…)


	5. Light and Darkness

AN: School has started and I haven't real time to write. Sorry 'bout that. I haven't been inspired by anything either, but Samie said she missed this story, so I thought I'd try to write on it some. _points to Samie _This is for you doll! (I wrote this in my closet WOO-HOO!)

Also! Sucking up to me only pisses me off. (Samie knows what I'm talking about. I don't wanna be her favorite person! Ahhhh!)

((Samie: _high fives_ Closets rool! Except mine flickers… _growls _Sorry this took so long to get this posted… I had it for a while, procrastinated, and when I was finally ready post it, I lost my internet connection and had to wait to get it fixed. _Punches Bellsouth_ Anyway… ON WITH THE STORY!))

Warnings: Yaoi, OoC-ness, other… crap… Original characters! (But not for long… don't worry.)

Disclaimer: You people can't be stupid enough to think I don't own it. "Oui, Samie! Let's go ride in the FF8-mobile." …I think not.

Seifer POV

I turned toward the new-comer. It was a light-Squall.

I'm not even kidding. This guy could be Squall's twin. The only thing missing was the scar.

He had light silver/blonde hair, a tan, green eyes, and all-white clothes.

And he looked exactly like Squall.

Same build.

Same frame.

Same _face._

It was the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Which is saying something.

Squall turned dead eyes on the guy.

"Hikari." Light? Who'd name their kid 'light?'

'Hikari' just smiled wider. "You did not answer my question, Kurai."

Did he just refer to Squall as 'Dark?' What the Hell is going on?

"The darkness and its creatures, of which I command no longer, wish me to be an empty puppet for them."

Squall, an empty puppet that controls darkness and creatures?

My head hurts.

I'm so damn confused and lost.

"You'd think it'd be the other way around. You'd think it'd _want_ to control you instead of _you_ control _it._

Okay, Squall's eyes just narrowed, or well, the dull and lifeless irises just got smaller… Whatever, it's not a good sign.

"You forget Hikari, my Darkness is _nothing_ like your Light."

"So you've been following me for three years to lecture me about the differences about your Darkness and my Light?"

"No. I followed you for three years just," Squall literally _shoved_ Rinoa off of him and to the floor, walked about five feet away from this 'Hikari' guy, looked him straight in the eye and said, "To Reclaim a Soul."

And all Hell broke loose.

AN: So we finally learn what 'it' is. And yes, that _was_ a stupid ending… deal with it bitches! Mwahahahaahaha! Please review!


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